The MarkahVida Story: How Perspective Changed Everything
There I was lying in bed, curled up in the fetal position, with the covers pulled over my head so tight…I am thinking to myself that maybe if I am still enough, and breathing quietly enough, no-one will notice me and I can just lie here…where no-one needs me, no-one has any expectations of me, where I can let go of the resentment I am feeling because everyone depends on me and maybe I can just be at peace, for a few moments before I have to face the day…
Just as I was sure I had become invisible and maybe my plan was working, my husband comes in the room, pulling the covers from my head, telling me about some emergency at the office that apparently I was the only person that could handle…
As he is talking, my stomach starts to turn, my heads begins to throb, the anger is building up in me until I could just scream…and that is exactly what I did. I screamed, and I cried until I had nothing left in me…
As I look back on that moment, more than five years ago now, there are three key things I have learned since then that have completely changed my life, allowing me to actually look forward to waking up in the morning.
- The first thing I learned was that we teach people how to treat us.
- The second thing I have learned is that it is okay to ask for help and it is okay to say no.
- And the third thing I learned is that perspective is everything. When we change our perspective, it will change our lives.
So today I am sharing a program on my app with you called “The Daily Bookends.” This is a series of journal prompts that I have used myself for years, that has allowed me to shift my perspective and change my life.
The program consists of a morning intention check-in and an evening reflection check-in, made up of specially curated questions that work at both the conscious, thinking brain level, as well as doing work deep below the surface, which is where we really need to do the work if we want lasting change.
The key to change, is not in our situations, it is in how we view them and our ability to handle them. Life is full of challenges and we can’t avoid them, so we need to be able to lean into them, so they do not break us. The first and most important step in changing how we view life, our perspective, is to change how we view ourselves.
The questions in this program are focused on building up our sense of self-worth and self-love, so that we can change how we view ourselves. This is also critical as it relates to our need for validation. When we do not know how to celebrate and love ourselves, we seek validation from external sources, other people, which can show up as people pleasing, over achieving and self-sacrifice.
This need to prove ourselves and be there for everyone, can show up as an inability to say no, with us taking on too much and ultimately can lead to resentment of our situation or of others.
So the crucial element to creating a life you look forward to waking up to, is to change how you view yourself, because we view the world and our experiences based on how we view ourselves. And we also need to remember that other people see us, as we see ourselves.
So download the app today start celebrating yourself and experience the power of perspective!