Talent Optimization Consulting
MarkahVida is a Certified Partner of The Predictive Index, the world’s leading talent optimization platform. Contact us to learn more.
Diagnose.
The Diagnose solution has 3 parts:
- PI Employee Experience Survey
- Employee Experience Coaching
- Take Action on Engagement Workshop.
This set of three puts you in the best position to get results and then act on them.
Design.
Design helps your leadership team agree on and align with your organization’s core strategy, increasing the odds of actually achieving the goals you’ve set. It’s the only solution on the market that uses proven people metrics to both set and hit your targets
Hire.
Gut feel is not a good enough reason to hire someone. Neither is relying solely on past indicators like GPA, references, or a pedigreed resume. Instead, turn to hiring tools that incorporate behavioral and cognitive insights. This is the best way to predict how a candidate will think and work.
Inspire.
Reminder 💛
Once we gain awareness and let go of the meaning associated with depleting emotions, we can ask ourselves the questions above to recognize if we are giving our Personal Power Away.
In recognizing this, we can then choose to take our power back! The meaning that we give things, is how we give our power away. When we listen to the signals our unconscious mind is giving us, we can see the areas that we will benefit from working on in our personal development. We can also recognize that the only thing we truly have control over is how we choose to think about a situation, our attitude, and our response. No one actually and physically makes us feel any way emotionally. The meaning we give it in our heads is what makes us feel the way we feel.
When we have evaluated the situation and have determined that we are safe, in order to honor our emotions and the amazingness of our mind in how it is trying to help us, we can use the series of questions above to:
1. Let go of the meaning, changing the emotional content and how it affects our body.
2. Recognize if we are giving away our Personal Power.
3. Take our Power Back.
Emotions are always present. During times of pressure or stress, emotions may seem more intense and more draining. I invite you to remember that there is no such thing as a bad emotion, just depleting emotions. Emotions are labels that our unconscious mind gives to things. It is a communication method with the conscious mind. This is almost like an internal GPS system; it tells us to proceed, to go with caution, run towards, run away, and most importantly, they are there to protect us. Depleting emotions are how our unconscious mind has labeled things to tell us the situation may be uncomfortable or unsafe. This makes sense when recognize that a main function of the unconscious mind is to keep us alive, safe, preserving energy, while keeping us comfortable. This also explains how we can get very comfortable in our discomfort, which is a story for another day!
The point is that we need to address our emotions because they are really just signals to help us know what we want more or less of or if something is violating our values & beliefs. The emotions can also be related to the old or limiting or negative beliefs we have about ourselves. Our emotions can be good indicators of the changework we are craving at an unconscious level.
When we give things meaning and we don’t like the way it feels, when we say that someone else “makes us” feel a certain way, we are giving our power away. We are giving away control of our emotions to the person or thing that “makes us” feel that way.
Things only bother us when we give it meaning. When we stop and think about it, if we could detach ourselves from the meaning we are giving the behavior in our head, we would not connect to it emotionally. The thing to realize here is that no one can MAKE us feel anything. It is only the meaning that we give their behavior that we allow to ‘make’ us feel something. As we view our own behavior, it only ‘makes’ us feel bad when we give it meaning.
Imagine, one day you choose to take a day and rest, restore and re-energize yourself and on this day, you allow yourself to feel relaxed and content: the behavior of not taking care of things is not a problem. Then another day, you don’t feel well, and you need to stay in bed to take care of yourself…somehow in this second scenario most of us will feel anxious about what we aren’t getting done, we feel like we should be doing more, which leads to all sorts of other emotions.
My question is: what is the meaning you are giving “resting” or”slowing down” in this second scenario that makes you feel bad? What other meaning could you give it that will give you permission to let it go.
When we give things meaning and we don’t like the way it feels, when we say that someone else “makes us” feel a certain way, we are giving our power away. We are giving away control of our emotions to the person or thing that “makes us” feel that way.
What is Grace?
Grace (noun): Disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency or a temporary exemption : REPRIEVE
Grace allows us to not take things personally or get caught up in the meaning or emotion of things that don’t go quite as planned, or don’t meet our expectations.
It seems hard sometimes, especially when we feel like we were wrong, or wronged, when we need to speak our truth about how something made us feel or be harsh with ourselves because we have higher expectations that aren’t being met.
So, how do we do this?
We let go of the meanings and stop giving our power away.
No one is perfect. Giving yourself or others grace, is giving permission to forgive mistakes, poor judgment, things you regret…rather than regretting them and holding on, give grace; find the lesson, forgive and let it go.
Tip: When you are feeling bad about something that happened, ask yourself: what meaning am I giving this? Rewind the movie back to right before you started feeling bad, and ask yourself, what am I saying in my head about this situation? Can you change that narrative? What could you say that will allow you to move forward the way you want to?
We teach people how to treat us. We do this in multiple ways:
1) How we treat ourselves sets an example for what we will allow.
2) What we tolerate tells people how much room they have in how they treat us.
3) How we treat others also shows people how to treat us from the standpoint of 'The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done to you'.
4) The lens that we view things: We project onto other people and their behavior, based on how we view ourselves, creating self-fulfilling prophecies. When we expect things to happen, not necessarily with volition, we will create circumstances to allow for our expectations to be met.
As you consider these ways we teach people to treat us, if you don't like the results you are getting, the first place to start is within.
4 Ways of Showing Self-Love:
Rest: Resting is self-love. It is medicine for the soul. Resting is never a waste of time. It is what recharges us so that we can show up as our best, most intentional self…Whatever it is, it will be there when you are done resting…and it will be easier after you have recharged. I used to think sleep was overrated…I always figured I could catch up with my sleep at some point. It is during our sleep that our body heals itself and we move our memories around, clearing space for more resilience when we wake up. The realization I came to a few years ago is that if I don’t give my body time to heal and restore itself, it will force me to give it time, which naturally happens at the most inopportune times. I highly recommend scheduling your rest regularly so that you aren’t forced to be an unwilling participant at the most inconvenient times.
Restore: These are the things that feed and calm our soul. The things we can get lost in for hours with no clue how much time passed. These can also be small pieces of time that you carve out to literally restore your body and mind like meditation, a massage, a walk, sitting in nature, doing something creative, reading a book, stretching…
Energize: These are the things that give us energy, which will look different for everyone. Exercise is one of my top tools for re-energizing. When I feel exhausted, my temper is short, or I am just in a funk, a brisk walk, run, row, or elliptical workout will pull me right out of this and I will walk away clear headed and energized. My other favorite thing to re-energize is laughter. There is not much in the world that restores energy and can be as healing as a good belly laugh. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
When we have unconditional love for ourselves, we teach people to treat us with love and the reflections and projections we see in others are with love.
I invite you to reflect on this and ask yourself if you are teaching people how to treat you from a place of love, or lack of love? What do you wish for yourself in relation to this?
Tip: Prioritizing your energy and confidence are great ways to show yourself love while also giving you better resources to show up in the world and for others in an intentional and impactful way.
Exercise: Make a list of things that give you energy or confidence. Make another list of things that deplete your energy or confidence. Now, make a list of your normal day and see how many items replenish vs. deplete you. The key to managing stress and all the to do’s is to replenish more than deplete. See if you can find a way to remove one item that depletes your energy or confidence and add at least one more thing into your day that gives you energy or confidence.
We need to reframe how we look at the word selfish. ‘ISH’ can either mean approximately, relating to, or having the characteristic of. In any case, adding ‘ish’ to self, is not negative in any way, until we give it meaning. It is the meaning we give it, as it relates to others that makes it negative.
I just want to say here, that taking care of ourselves is in no way negative. In fact, having and showing love for self is so important. If you have ever traveled on an airplane, you know that they tell you to secure your oxygen mask first before attempting to assist others. We can’t take care of others if we don’t take care of ourselves first.
This is true as it relates to taking care of ourselves. When we don’t take the time to rest, restore, and energize ourselves, we end up hitting exhaustion so much faster. Our fuse gets shorter and even though our intention in de-prioritizing ourselves is so that we can be there for other people, we end up showing up in a way that we aren’t always proud of. A lot of times, this ends up creating even more work emotionally, because communication in relationships will suffer when we are overwhelmed and exhausted.
What is your "go-to" method of showing self-love?
Are you ready for more?
Have you been playing small? Afraid to move forward? Waiting until everything is just right? Or just waiting for the next "thing" to fall in place before you start living the life you crave?
The Hard Truth: The time will never be right, there will always be another "thing" and no-one is going to do it for you.
Stop putting you last...
If you are ready to move yourself and your dreams up on the priority list, DM me.
Sit on this one for a few minutes - read this a few times, screenshot it, or save it for future reference. I invite you on a path to greater self-care, reflection, and intention with the MarkahVida app. In these ways, with repetition, you will create new neural connections and upgrade your operating system just by taking 5 minutes a day to utilize the MarkahVida app. Download via the link in bio.
Can you imagine all the ways unconditional self-love can show up in your life?
If you are tired of working so hard, of never having enough, never feeling enough, and really want to create a life of abundance and fulfillment, start upgrading your operating system by downloading and using the app today.
Our ability to love ourselves, or lack thereof, shows up in every aspect of our life. How we see ourselves determines how we see the world. This why the MarkahVida app focuses on self-care, reflection, and intention. In these ways, with repetition, you will create new neural connections and upgrade your operating system.
Start your journey to self-love with the app via the link in our bio.
This program in our head, at the unconscious level, was created over the course of experiences in our life, and has become a deep rooted belief system that runs the show for us.
The super cool thing, is that you don’t have to settle for that. The MarkahVida app focuses on self-care, reflection, and intention. In these ways, with repetition, you will create new neural connections and upgrade your operating system.
Can you imagine all the ways unconditional self-love can show up in your life?
I invite you to start on a path to self-love today by downloading by the app via the link in bio.
When we talk about being worthy, we may talk in the context of dreams, desires, abundance, money etc. but at the end of the day, all of these are tied to our belief of whether we are worthy of love. Think about it: when you love someone, you want them to have everything, you want to do things for them, for no reason…yet, we don’t allow ourselves to have wonderful nice things for no reason. In fact, we push ourselves to show the world how hard we worked to earn it. This stems from our lack of self-love and self-acceptance. When we feel unworthy, what we are really saying is that we don’t know how to love ourselves unconditionally. It is in our inability to love ourselves unconditionally that we put extreme pressure and high expectations on ourselves.
I talk to people all the time that say “My problem isn’t that I don’t think I’m worthy, it’s just that…” and then there is a slew of reasons they are not allowing themselves to have the life they want, or to even dream of a life they want. This is a delicate conversation and a real one we need to have with ourselves.
Understanding How Self-Love Impacts Our Goals...
If we do not believe we are worthy of the reward we will get from achieving our goals, we will have a very difficult time making them a reality. In understanding that the unconscious mind is our “goal getter”, it really doesn’t matter what goal we set for ourself, if at a deep level, we are running a program or belief that says we are not worthy, the unconscious mind will not go get the goal. In fact, it will sabotage your efforts.
How do you begin tackling this old program? Take just 5 minutes each day to utilize the MarkahVida app where old programs of self-sabotage will be replaced with self-love, setting yourself free to achieve any goal or dream you desire. Download via link in bio.
