Is Lack Of Self-Love The Same As Feeling Unworthy?

There are a lot of ways that “not worthy” can show up in our lives. One of the ways this shows up is our need to work so hard, not allowing ourselves to receive the reward when we achieve our goals, or self-sabotaging our success. So let’s discuss self-love, self-worth, and our goals.

Understanding How Self-Love Impacts Our Goals

If we do not believe we are worthy of the reward we will get from achieving our goals, we will have a very difficult time making them a reality. In understanding that the unconscious mind is our “goal getter”, it really doesn’t matter what goal we set for ourself, if at a deep level, we are running a program or belief that says we are not worthy, the unconscious mind will not go get the goal. In fact, it will sabotage your efforts.


When we talk about being worthy, we may talk in the context of dreams, desires, abundance, money etc. but at the end of the day, all of these are tied to our belief of whether we are worthy of love. Think about it: when you love someone, you want them to have everything, you want to do things for them, for no reason…yet, we don’t allow ourselves to have wonderful nice things for no reason. In fact, we push ourselves to show the world how hard we worked to earn it. This stems from our lack of self-love and self-acceptance. When we feel unworthy, what we are really saying is that we don’t know how to love ourselves unconditionally. It is in our inability to love ourselves unconditionally that we put extreme pressure and high expectations on ourselves.


I talk to people all the time that say “My problem isn’t that I don’t think I’m worthy, it’s just that…” and then there is a slew of reasons they are not allowing themselves to have the life they want, or to even dream of a life they want. This is a delicate conversation and a real one we need to have with ourselves.



There are a lot of ways that “not worthy” can show up in our lives. Some ways this shows up is:

  • Needing to work hard for everything
  • People pleasing
  • Taking pride in over-time and being busy
  • Not being able to say no
  • Seeking recognition
  • Not taking time to care for self
  • Lacking hobbies or things that bring joy
  • Lack of decisiveness
  • Negative self-talk
  • Seeking external validation
  • Never “enough”
  • Putting off your happiness until you achieve the next thing
  • Self-sabotage


This program in our head, at the unconscious level, was created over the course of experiences in our life, and has become a deep rooted belief system that runs the show for us.


The super cool thing, is that you don’t have to settle for that. The same way that we upgrade the operating system on our phones and computers, we can update our operating systems and choose self-love. When we choose self-love, it is actually the biggest form of freedom.


Our ability to love ourselves, or lack thereof, shows up in every aspect of our life. How we see ourselves determines how we see the world. This why the MarkahVida app focuses on self-care, reflection, and intention. In these ways, with repetition, you will create new neural connections and upgrade your operating system.


Can you imagine all the ways unconditional self-love can show up in your life?


If you are tired of working so hard, of never having enough, never feeling enough, and really want to create a life of abundance and fulfillment, start upgrading your operating system by downloading and using the app today.




I work with high achieving leaders to stop sacrificing themselves, their happiness and their health in pursuit of success, instead I help them achieve self-mastery through authenticity, so they can amplify their human experience, and increase their impact on the world. Together we will normalize compassion, authenticity, and intentionality so that we can create world full of love, possibility and magic.

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